A Changing Social Language

In high school, I thought it was ok to use ‘gay’ to be synonymous with ‘bad’ or ‘stupid.’ I had a lot of non hetero-sexual, non-conforming friends and I thought because they used it, I could too. At the time, I don’t think any of us understood that this term was part of a larger gay culture that was reclaiming formerly derogatory words. Since then, I’ve realized the error of my ways and eliminated it from my daily vocabulary.

            Ta-Nehisi Coates’ response to a student questioning the continued used of the N-word in pop culture so accurately depicts the intricacies of social language. A lot is inferred or assumed from the words we use and do not use on a daily basis, which makes this particular debate hard to effectively explain. Coates is able to describe the use of the N-word as another example of an unspoken social understanding that dictates our everyday interactions. There are some things we just don’t say because of the underlying significance – this should be something everyone can accept. Instead, when it comes to the N-word, white people respond indignantly to the concept of being denied allowance to use a term so intimately tied to African-American culture. Often times, warning white people of the dangers and offenses of the N-word attracts complaints of political correct-ed-ness. We live in a time when being objectively offensive to a minority group is no longer a bipartisan issue. Respecting the culture and sentiments of others is no longer a universally held value. For this reason, the N-word continues to be carelessly used for the purpose of social conformity or musical enjoyment. When I still thought it was acceptable to use ‘gay’, I wasn’t thinking about the social connotations of my words. To realize why using that word in that context was wrong, I had to critically examine myself and the ways in which the LGBTQ+ community have been excluded from the mainstream. It was not easy to change my behavior in order to appropriately respect the history of the gay community, but I could understand the necessity of that change. Individuals ignorant to the consequences of the N-word have to put in the work in order to understand the wrong-doing of their actions. This is where the gap in comprehension comes into play. You can’t force empathy or compassion for others. It is impossible to explain to someone why they should care about another person’s wellbeing. When you are open to change and the possibility of empathy, you are able to envision the life of minority groups as they exist within a white-dominated nation. As Coates so accurately sums up, appreciating rap and hip-hop music without using the N-word is to understand the life of black folk as they are denied participation into the mainstream on a daily basis.